I am Still Useful (May Silbi Pa Rin)

By: Mary Junneth Llesis

   My life started barely 1996. I am full of life and vigor then. In the Philippines they called me "Mansanitas" ( which means small apple). I may not taste like one but in a glance I really looks like a small apple. I can grow anywhere.
    I was conceived in the bird's digestive system and eventually I am set free from that small anus and down to the fertile soil where my life begun. Oh from where I started it's not a joke I have to pass through dark tunnel and from there I started to live my my life as a tiny seed. Sunlight and rain visited me they were the ones who took care of me. Day by day I  can sense the changes in my physical being. After four months my twigs has grown muscles. I started to have beautiful flowers.This was the beginning of my journey.A beautiful life!


    I noticed I am getting sexier everyday not only that. The blossom of my flowers gave me a nice scent. Gotcha! Many bees came to and fro even fighting against one another to be the first one to sip my sweet nectar. I all welcomed them with glee.I gave room to all my guest. They all can sip my bounty and my vigorousness. I was fulfilled seeing them very satisfied.Oh how I wish you have taken photos of me when I was yet lovely as I am!

This is my cousin. "Nitas".Meet our clan!This is how I look like when I was still  young.
Full  of beauty. full of  worth and value

   Days had passed my white flowers became greenish little by little it expanded and the green circle thing was change into yellowish-orange until it were red. My fruits have ripen. I became attractive not only to bees but also to kids passing by. They always drop by and enjoy my small fruit and picked a handful as they left. Not only that,Birds flocked on me to satisfy their craving I was so happy that I did them good.

  But there are naughty kids that do not only enjoy my fruit. they are not satisfied picking it only. They wanted to make my life miserable by picking my unripe fruit, tearing my gorgeous leaves and crippling my twigs. Ouch! But  I can't open my mouth to say a word!


   I just tried to show them that I am well. But deeply I was hurt. Time has healed my would. I continue yielding small sweet fruit. Birds and bees kept on coming to serenade me. What a joy! Life was good! I was very useful. This was my routine since then.


   But Summer of 2010 came. It was so hot. I heard them say that it is an "el niño" phenomenon. I didn't understand what they were saying but I noticed something. My roots cannot get enough water anymore. I begun to be thirsty. My leaves started to whither. Oh my what's happening? My verdant leaves was turning yellowish. Am I sick? If only I can bring myself to an specialist for a check up, why not?
     I started to grow weak, very weak. One day I just woke and saw my leaves are gone. I was bald. I was like a cancer patient who underwent a chemotheraphy. Hu!hu!hu!, I sobbed. What can I do? I can't afford to buy hair grower,  or to get a wig to cover my baldness. Am I dying? Lord what am I going through? 
   
     Days had passed I grew weaker each day until I noticed. even my twigs and branches had dried up.

   The birds and the bees who once loved and cherished me were all gone. They even freed away from me. I felt that I have a dreadful disease that they want to escape from my presence. I was hurt! so hurt. I whispered to myself " I am no longer useful!"


   How I wished after the drought I could regain my beauty back but to my dismay my wish was not granted. I realized maybe my purpose on earth is done. I have given much. It's time for me to rest.


  The place where my life begin had became my grave. I was not laid down to rest but just stood still as an old stump.


    People who were once adore me, never took noticed of me anymore. I am no longer useful. I am worthless.


   But one day, I saw a man wearing a hat looked at me and smiled. Why? I don't know . I am observing every move he made I saw him brought a handy stair with a hammer and a nail and a rolled something. I just observed him. He climbed up the stair. Placed the rolled something... he tried to make an angle and later....got the nail and hammered it on. I want to argue or made protest..... but, I have to humble myself. It's better this way I can still have my self worth. I told myself, " I AM STILL USEFUL"!