Couple's Corner-Yes Wife?

     Before encoding my entry, I posted the topics for October 2 weeks ago,  since then I tried to check myself,..... Am I a "yes" wife?

    The bible is clear "Ephesians 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit/ or be subject to their husbands in everything." Does it mean that in everything?Even you know that it is not worthy of your submission and obedience?
  
   Yes, it is hard to say "yes dear" or "yes love" to your husband especially when you think what he want or he planned to do is not you want to do or have, his decisions are not that good compare to your's. But God commanded s through Paul to be submissive, to be willing to say "yes" all the time.

    But the verse does not stop nor begin with that commandment it preceded " Ephesians 5:21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ......Husband love your wives and after it says in Ephesians 5:28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. It implies that our action of saying yes is just a reciprocal attitude of our husband's love for us. We can say "yes" because we know he loved us so much and he will not make any move that will endanger our relationship to him and of course to the Lord.
  
    Let me share to you one teaching for wives ed me as a wife it might help you too:

       COMMUNICATING YOUR ROLE AS HELPMATE TO YOUR HUSBAND 

      (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 31:12; Psalm 28:3)

*Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

1. By making your home a safe place

    @ a place of encouragement, comfort understanding and refuge (Prov. 31:11,20*

    @ a place he longed to be and fulfill his complete manhood.

2. By being trustworthy and dependable. (Prov. 31:11-12)

3. By maintaining a good attitude ( Prov. 31:26,28,29; James 3:13-18; Phil 4:4)

4. By discussing things lovingly, openly, and honestly with your husband (Eph 4:25) This is one thing we should learn....if we do this surely our hubby will not suggest things that will make us say "NO".

5. By being satisfied and content with your postion, possession, and your task (Phil. 4:6-13: Heb 13:5-6)

6. By being long-suffering, forgiving and forbearing with your husband (Eph. 4:2,31-32, Col 3:12-14)

7. By showing interest in his problems and concerns ( Phil 2:3-4), grateful to him ( Rom. 13:7)

8. By being an industrious, frugal. diligent, ambitious, and creative teammate of your husband. (Psalm 128:3)

9. By offering suggestions, advice, and corrections when needed in a loving fashion (Prov. 31:26)

10. By keeping yourself beautiful, both outwardly and inner person ( 1 Peter 3:3-5)

11. By maintaining a consistent spiritual life ( 1 Peter 3:1-7)

12. By cooperating with him in raising the children ( Eph. 6|:20, Prov. 31:26_28, 1 Tim 5:13-14)

13. By building loyalty to him in the children:

      * lack of respect or confidence in his leadership, complaints about what he has or has not done will have 

         bad effects to children

       * avoid taking sides with the children or anyone against her husband

       * agree with him in disciplining children

       * must settle differences with him away from hearing of the children.

14. By being aggressive and creative sexual partner with your own husband ( ! Cor. 7:3-5; Prov. 3:15-19; Song of Solomon 5:10-16; 7:10-13)

   When we know our role as a wife it is not hard to be a "YES" wife to our hubby!

For more of just clickWatch out for the next week's topic October 20th-NO DEAR !

Desiring for God by John Piper

Who's the Boss?- Couple's Corner

   

   I like your punch Liz.... "If my  husband is the KING of the house,  I am the ACE..Hehehe! just kidding.." 
Sometimes we take it lightly but partly this is true we ladies would like to dominate our gentlemen. Especially in the Philippines where women are tagged as "kumander" "commander-in-chief"....she is the one who decide, who orders, who plan at si mister ay "under de saya". 
    During early days of our life as a couple I can't deny that ours is something like this. The notion that I earn bigger than him, I pay the bills and I landed greater position in my work place became the scene in our home. I felt I am the boss. Thus, unknowingly my husband became in-secure but he never opened that up to me. We have a still a little knowledge of the God's designed marriage that time. We thought it is somewhat correct because we have seen  this portrait in many marriages here in the Philippines.
    But as we have grown  and known the Lord through His word. We have learned the Biblical Portrait of Marriage- the imagery of husband and wife relationship as designed by God. 
    Let me give biblical foundation, as this has become our basis especially for me to have "AA" Attitude Adjustment" I mean to change my thinking that my husband has given the authority by the Lord to decide, to govern and to act out his will ( Gen.2:19-20).And God made woman-wife to be a helpmate suitable for the man. Helper- corresponding to. Biblical term a woman who can correspond to his need, to his love. It does not mean that we woman is inferior than  man but God made them equal yet distinct in duty and function. 
   Knowing this, it was not difficult for me to submit to my husband's authority. God has given him the duty to Lord over our home. I have to submit to God's will and his will is for me to submit to my own husband as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, Wives, submit to your own  husband as to the Lord). At first, I have to argue... "Submit if?" but God has taught me I have to without excuse. My husband isn't perfect as the head but I have the faith that God will change him from glory to glory. My submission to him will make him realize to do what is best. To ask God's wisdom so he can lead our home and be the "boss" in God's way.
   It is liberating now, I don't have to squeeze my mind my emotion to take the lead. It was so stressful before. Today, am contented to be his helpmate. When he decide I still have the chance to give my opinion and talk about the pros and cons with him. He honors my opinion. Now, I can rest because I know my hubby will take care of everything as the boss!
   (The bible gives lots of Principles about married life it has been our guide. Matured people shared experiences also give us ideas and books about marriage are also helpful. I find this book:

Rodliz nest is inviting us to join this corner where we are free to share our sweet and sour experiences as couples, or just browse and learn from the entries of:

CC: What do We want from Each other?

"Every marriage should make both partner a better individual if not the best!" this reminder keeps ringing in my memory. That is why sometimes I should not ask of what I want him to do for me of vise versa but I often ask myself "what I want myself to do for him" and I also would want him to think of that too for us to be a better individual.

In the early stage of our marriage I just waited for him to relate with me or communicate his plans, desires about our family. And I felt like I'm in a hanging position on matters that should concern about us. I thought before he was not concerned with family matters because he does not open up. It annoyed me. But little by little through couple's retreat I learned that  Men  are less communicators especially Filipinos. When you asked them something they will just answer you with"yes or no" without any explanation. Women on the other hand is meticulous with many  things we want details...we want to intrude to our hubby's world. So this time I  do not wait for him to initiate the conversation I have to start the conversation and ask him questions that will lead  us to have better communication. By this, I have not only intruded his world but I also encourage him to be a good communicator.

Another, I believe that every value that we have sometimes can be traced on how our parents up- bring us. The value of thoughtfulness for example, can be shown in many ways. I was brought up in a family that will  give something to someone during special occasion ( even a letter or a flower picked from our own garden can be a way to show our love and concern). They are not brought up this way. So, I want to accuse him of being unthoughtful. But as we go along he said he is not just get used to it.  I told him the essence of it I also told him it's not about the worth of what you give but the value of your gesture. It tickles me whenever I receive even a leaf  with  my name. Now, he has learned to be thoughtful that way. Our kids are also learning this that sometimes when they are in the garden they picked flower and surprise us with a kiss.

In fairness there are also things that my hubby has done to me that made me a better person.. I am a type of person that is so hot tempered , irritable and impulsive. I want to act without planning. I want to make things happen even it was not yet the right time. That when I fail I right away blamed hi for not doing it for me. He taught me to slow down and trust him to do it. He keeps on reminding me to wait and trust God. I am learning to wait in the Lord and indeed it is fulfilling and untiring.

I am also anxious, I worried about lots of things, even things and problem that do not exist yet. Being worry is not trusting God and disbelief on God's power my hubby told me. "Matthew 6:25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?"  My hubby has become my Pastor not only in the church but also at home.

Today, we do not ask what we can do for each other but rather our prayer is that God help us to the things you want us to do for each other and to You for your glory!

This month of October is Couple's Corner First Year anniversary. Mommy Liz posted the themes for this coming month:

October Theme

06th- Who’s the Boss?- who wears pants in the house?? hmmm??
13th-Yes WIFE – do you always say Yes to your hubby?
20th-NO DEAR – does he always say no to anything that you say??
27th-I Will do it Tomorrow- did he ever do it? or it is left undone.. 

If you want to join or learn things about couples just visit http://rodliz.info/

CC-Hardest Days of Our Marriage

    Every marriages has gone through lots of storm. Ours is not exempted, we also had great intensities of tremor in our journey as a couple. And these situation proved that our's have surpassed the 11 years of turmoils and we "SURVIVED'.

    It is not because we are good enough but it was God who caused it in our lives.

   We got married last December 1998. We were working by then. My hubby as a "x-ray technician" in a private Medical laboratory while I was teaching on a private school. But March of 1999 there was stream lining in their company and he was one of those who was laid -off. After that month the school where I taught was notified for closure because they have not seek to renew the contract in the Dep-Ed.We felt the world fallen on our shoulders but those situation was used by God so we can see His hand working. Lesson learned -"Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding."

   February 2001- a month after this I will give birth to Juwella but an infection near my anus had occurred. It brought me pain and fever. We were worried because the infection might harm our baby. The infection was worst that from Camiguin I have to be transferred to Cagayan de Oro which means I will be crossing sea and travel by land for an hour with mys situation. Hubby was worried about me and our baby. But he looked at God for mercy. I underwent a minor operation so the doctor could remove the infected tissue and pus. God was gracious. I am still alive and after a month gave birth to a lovely baby through ceasarian operation. Lesson learned God knows every situation in our lives He allowed it for a purpose.

  January 2002- My hubby was bitten by a mad dog. It happened when we were financially drained. He has to be given an anti-rabies dose. It it will cost as much plus the anti- tetanus all in all we need more or less 20,000php for that. We were in trouble we do not know where to go but the Lord had provided. He uses a friend to refer us in a Health Center where we can avail 80% discount. Lesson learned God is our provider he will provide according to His riches and glory!

  There were many more hard stories of our lives and these experiences allowed us to grow and learn more of who God is in our family and even as the Lord of our wife-husband relationship.

Me and my hubby!

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