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"For God knew me even when I am in my mother's womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made"

Friday, October 1, 2010

CC: What do We want from Each other?

"Every marriage should make both partner a better individual if not the best!" this reminder keeps ringing in my memory. That is why sometimes I should not ask of what I want him to do for me of vise versa but I often ask myself "what I want myself to do for him" and I also would want him to think of that too for us to be a better individual.
In the early stage of our marriage I just waited for him to relate with me or communicate his plans, desires about our family. And I felt like I'm in a hanging position on matters that should concern about us. I thought before he was not concerned with family matters because he does not open up. It annoyed me. But little by little through couple's retreat I learned that  Men  are less communicators especially Filipinos. When you asked them something they will just answer you with"yes or no" without any explanation. Women on the other hand is meticulous with many  things we want details...we want to intrude to our hubby's world. So this time I  do not wait for him to initiate the conversation I have to start the conversation and ask him questions that will lead  us to have better communication. By this, I have not only intruded his world but I also encourage him to be a good communicator.

Another, I believe that every value that we have sometimes can be traced on how our parents up- bring us. The value of thoughtfulness for example, can be shown in many ways. I was brought up in a family that will  give something to someone during special occasion ( even a letter or a flower picked from our own garden can be a way to show our love and concern). They are not brought up this way. So, I want to accuse him of being unthoughtful. But as we go along he said he is not just get used to it.  I told him the essence of it I also told him it's not about the worth of what you give but the value of your gesture. It tickles me whenever I receive even a leaf  with  my name. Now, he has learned to be thoughtful that way. Our kids are also learning this that sometimes when they are in the garden they picked flower and surprise us with a kiss.

In fairness there are also things that my hubby has done to me that made me a better person.. I am a type of person that is so hot tempered , irritable and impulsive. I want to act without planning. I want to make things happen even it was not yet the right time. That when I fail I right away blamed hi for not doing it for me. He taught me to slow down and trust him to do it. He keeps on reminding me to wait and trust God. I am learning to wait in the Lord and indeed it is fulfilling and untiring.

I am also anxious, I worried about lots of things, even things and problem that do not exist yet. Being worry is not trusting God and disbelief on God's power my hubby told me. "Matthew 6:25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?"  My hubby has become my Pastor not only in the church but also at home.

Today, we do not ask what we can do for each other but rather our prayer is that God help us to the things you want us to do for each other and to You for your glory!

Rodliz’s Nest

This month of October is Couple's Corner First Year anniversary. Mommy Liz posted the themes for this coming month:

October Theme
06th- Who’s the Boss?- who wears pants in the house?? hmmm??
13th-Yes WIFE – do you always say Yes to your hubby?
20th-NO DEAR – does he always say no to anything that you say??
27th-I Will do it Tomorrow- did he ever do it? or it is left undone.. 
If you want to join or learn things about couples just visit http://rodliz.info/


  1. i think that is a sign of a good marriage, learning from each other. good luck!

  2. yeah thats what i always told my husband that whatever his problem is he should tell me but nope wahhh he wont lol btw following you now

  3. I don't know how I missed your entry. I thought that I visited everybody. I am sorry for my late visit.

    Anyways, the first years of marriage is always the getting to know each other basis. so if there's anything that you observe and you don't agree with, you would just have to let him know. I used to not tell my hubby what I wanted and it's driving me nuts. So, when I start letting him know what I want and what I don't. that's when our relationship got better. Communication is always an essential to have an effective marriage, open up and share your thoughts. Understand what he's going through and try o understand where he came from. Learn from it and apply the necessary way to show him what he needs to do. don't be shy on telling him what you want from him, that is life, how can he know if you don't tell him. Wag magmukmok sa isang tabi, gaya nga ng sabi ng hubby ko "tell me what's on your mind, because I cannot read what's in your head" oh di ba? tama siya.. both should be able to express what you feel towards each other.. Have a great day!