CC: What do We want from Each other?

"Every marriage should make both partner a better individual if not the best!" this reminder keeps ringing in my memory. That is why sometimes I should not ask of what I want him to do for me of vise versa but I often ask myself "what I want myself to do for him" and I also would want him to think of that too for us to be a better individual.

In the early stage of our marriage I just waited for him to relate with me or communicate his plans, desires about our family. And I felt like I'm in a hanging position on matters that should concern about us. I thought before he was not concerned with family matters because he does not open up. It annoyed me. But little by little through couple's retreat I learned that  Men  are less communicators especially Filipinos. When you asked them something they will just answer you with"yes or no" without any explanation. Women on the other hand is meticulous with many  things we want details...we want to intrude to our hubby's world. So this time I  do not wait for him to initiate the conversation I have to start the conversation and ask him questions that will lead  us to have better communication. By this, I have not only intruded his world but I also encourage him to be a good communicator.

Another, I believe that every value that we have sometimes can be traced on how our parents up- bring us. The value of thoughtfulness for example, can be shown in many ways. I was brought up in a family that will  give something to someone during special occasion ( even a letter or a flower picked from our own garden can be a way to show our love and concern). They are not brought up this way. So, I want to accuse him of being unthoughtful. But as we go along he said he is not just get used to it.  I told him the essence of it I also told him it's not about the worth of what you give but the value of your gesture. It tickles me whenever I receive even a leaf  with  my name. Now, he has learned to be thoughtful that way. Our kids are also learning this that sometimes when they are in the garden they picked flower and surprise us with a kiss.

In fairness there are also things that my hubby has done to me that made me a better person.. I am a type of person that is so hot tempered , irritable and impulsive. I want to act without planning. I want to make things happen even it was not yet the right time. That when I fail I right away blamed hi for not doing it for me. He taught me to slow down and trust him to do it. He keeps on reminding me to wait and trust God. I am learning to wait in the Lord and indeed it is fulfilling and untiring.

I am also anxious, I worried about lots of things, even things and problem that do not exist yet. Being worry is not trusting God and disbelief on God's power my hubby told me. "Matthew 6:25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?"  My hubby has become my Pastor not only in the church but also at home.

Today, we do not ask what we can do for each other but rather our prayer is that God help us to the things you want us to do for each other and to You for your glory!

This month of October is Couple's Corner First Year anniversary. Mommy Liz posted the themes for this coming month:

October Theme

06th- Who’s the Boss?- who wears pants in the house?? hmmm??
13th-Yes WIFE – do you always say Yes to your hubby?
20th-NO DEAR – does he always say no to anything that you say??
27th-I Will do it Tomorrow- did he ever do it? or it is left undone.. 

If you want to join or learn things about couples just visit http://rodliz.info/

#Nostalgia- Moments with Mom!

Moments with my Mom. We attended a Seminar Workshop in Davao me
wearing orange, faith in the center and my mother. She has been a wonderful
Mom, friend, boss, mentor!

      I have a little view of this word "nostalgia" I have to consult Webster first so I can write my nostalgic moment.
    My bittersweet longing for a person and place. I still recall most moment with my Mom, they are still fresh to me. My mother raised us 4 kids alone. She worked hard to earn so she can send us to school and build a house we can call our own. She really have to work like a cow to meet both ends.
    I remembered, she has to do part time teaching so she could earn extra money. She has to do editing of thesis and advising. I knew she was tired but never heard her complained. She was such a loving and caring mother.
    Although my mom rose to rank but her salary is not high as the rank she occupied. So. there were times we have to eat rice savored with salt or soy sauce. We sometimes bragged about it, we were still young those time and we never yet know why? We thought  she is just too fugal but I realized that she is just living within our means. My  greatest legacy from her " to live within your means. Never commit loans or made debt from anybody if necessary". "Maski wala mi sud-an dili gyud mangutang akong mama  maski sardinas sa abay nga tindahan" .( Though we don not have viand never my mom told us to beg or make credit from a neighborhood store). My young mind rebelled about this, asking "why can she not do it just like others are doing". Why can she afford seeing us eat without viand?But,  this time when I become a mother I understand. Mother's heart always want best for their kids. But there are times that you have to harden your heart for their own good. If mom was not thrifty enough, she might not be able to send us to school she set aside some needs for our education and of course to pay our house mortgage. 
     After my graduation, she was able to save money to buy a wooden sofa set. Then after months she again bought  colored  TV set as a substitute to a very old black and white TV.  I remembered, mom acquired it yr. 1988 when she got paid from endorsing a detergent bar. After a while a  brand new refrigerator as a substitute to our hand me down from a friend, she just had it repainted and fixed. Mom said "Be satisfied with what God enabled us!"
     Another,  she instilled in my mind the principle of "doing first things first before the other. Means prioritizing things. Know your priorities in life act on it by God's help and guidance.Never leave something undone. Give your best in whatever you do.
    We may not have those material things that everyone can boast of when we were yet kids. But I was grateful that God enabled our mom to get us a house. A house I always longed to visit after I was married. Thankful mom was able to send me to school.
     Now, she's gone I missed the house where our dreams were fulfilled. Where our laughs were heard and where our cries were comforted.    

    My mom has left me a great heritage that I also want to pass to my generation and the generation next to me.

Enjoying her "apos" grandchildren in the house she dreamed to keep us together.
New Year of 2007 before she was diagnosed to have Cervical Cancer.